Burlesque Rocks

My First Time with Burlesque by Kate Sadler

‘Burlesque? It’s not really you, is it?’ Those were my mum’s words when I told her I’d be joining Emily’s Burlesque Beginners class. I can’t really blame her; I barely even knew what burlesque was until I got to know Emily (if you’re still unsure yourself, take a look at Emily’s marvellous ‘What is Burlesque?’ blog). For me, it brought up images of beautiful, confident, voluptuous women wearing fishnets and corsets. Not really me. I’m more of a 60 denier, cardigan wearing type who doesn’t bother with make up.

Over the past couple of years, Emily has gradually built up my burlesque knowledge, leaving tit bits of information for me in conversation, and sharing her blogs that radiate with her enthusiasm and love for the art form. From a few weeks into our friendship, I’d hear variations of: ‘You’re more than welcome to join, you know!’ with a wink, and a prod to look at the website. Somehow a Burlesque Rocks card got into my purse. I must admit, it made me smile. Just the idea of it. Me, doing something like that. Was I tempted? It’s hard to say at this point. But I was definitely curious. There was a part of me that thought, ‘what if…?’ When the invitations became more regular, Emily deftly batted away my excuses:
‘I’d be too embarrassed, Emily,’
‘No, burlesque is friendly and fun and inclusive!’
‘But I have no boobs, Emily!’
‘It doesn’t matter! Burlesque is for everyone!’

Eventually, through a mix of Emily’s persistence and me being a bit bored with my life, I relented. Emily asked if I’d do her upcoming Burlesque Beginners course and I said yes. What did I have to lose?

It helped that the classes were online. If it was awful, I could always switch off and have a cry on the sofa. Jangling with jitters, I set up my laptop in my home office, door closed, heels at the ready per Emily’s instruction and made space on the floor for strutting. With a nervous smile on my face, I opened the Zoom meeting and was met with Emily’s bright and happy welcome, plus some other lovely, normal looking women. Maybe this would be OK… The first session we were walking and posing in heels. Mine felt a bit strange, not having been worn in over a year, but I didn’t have time to dwell on that. Emily swept us up in various styles of walking, telling us to lift our heads and imagine Keanu Reeves (or celebrity crush of choice) in front of us. I must admit this worked as a technique, I really didn’t want to disappoint Keanu.

So I walked, head held high. I walked sensually, dragging my toes on the floor, then cheekily with hands flapping in ‘cheesecake’ fashion. We also learnt to do powerful walking and funny walking. I giggled with the others; I was enjoying myself! And when I struck the first pose, I felt something. Was it joy? Yes. I felt happy and confident. It was like I’d shed a drab, dull skin and awakened something from my past that I hadn’t felt for a long time: the performer! By the end of that first session I had a much better understanding of Emily’s love for burlesque. In that short hour, burlesque was already helping me to love myself. I said a cheery goodbye to the others and dashed down to the kitchen to demonstrate what I’d learned so far to my husband. He was surprised, delighted (looking forward to stocking week) and I was honestly looking forward to the next class.

Over the next five sessions, we learnt how to bump and grind, play with scarves (boas if you’ve got one), and fun or sensual ways to take off gloves and stockings. I was surprised I enjoyed using my teeth. What was happening to me?? I even braved tassels. If I was doing this, I was going to do it properly. I was a little scared of them falling off, but what was more embarrassing was putting them on… I hadn’t anticipated how long it would take to fix the sticking tape. Emily did her best to fill the five long minutes of class with various tassel anecdotes while everyone waited for me.

My table littered with discarded shreds of tape, I stood proudly, my little breasts bearing glittering purple hats. With everyone raring to go, Emily demonstrated the iconic shimmy. It’s a lot harder than it looks. I haven’t mentioned yet that burlesque classes really do count as exercise. That one hour a week left me a little breathless, a bit sore in places, and I have to say, tassel training was the hardest workout of the lot. I didn’t even know the shoulder muscles required to shimmy existed. I haven’t yet mastered it, and Emily reassures me it took her years to get it right. But what we could do was jump up and down moving our arms to make the tassels twirl in different directions. This was definitely the coolest cardio workout I’d ever done. Emily’s cries of joy watching us do this and get it right were infectious. I spent a lot of that class clapping and saying ‘yay!’ to the computer screen. Who needs the gym when you can get a workout from manipulating glittery cones of cardboard on your nipples?

When the final class came, I was a bit sad. Those six weeks had passed quickly, and I’d loved every minute. Emily had put together a routine for us, incorporating everything we’d learnt into one final piece. As ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ blasted through my laptop, I was excited to put everything together. I loved the posing, I loved the walking, I loved moving my hips to the music, I loved that I could get it wrong and it was fixable with a wink and a smile. I loved taking off my stockings and waving them in the air, and when I got to jump up and down and get those tassels whirling, I was grinning all the way to the final pose, arms outstretched to the guitar screeching end. Emily had won me over and burlesque had won my heart. I think she knew all along that it would. If you’re on the fence, take my advice and go for it. If burlesque is for me then it really is for everyone else too. Have a go, have a laugh, and set free your inner god/goddess. They’re rooting for you to let them loose. I’ll be taking mine along to Emily’s drop-in burlesque classes on Thursdays. I can’t wait. And the tassels are coming too.

A huge thank you to Kate for writing this lovely blog!

If her experience has inspired you to give burlesque a go you can join the next beginners course on the 6th May!