Burlesque Rocks

The unsexy but joyful side of burlesque

After taking my first Hootchy Kootchy Girls Burlesque Course with Erin, there were a group of people like myself who signed up for the next course pretty much straight away. In the first class back I remember I was sat with Yvette, who I’d recognised from the showcase.  I’d really enjoyed her burlesque act. She had great energy, a fantastic smile and a stage presence you couldn’t ignore.  You couldn’t help but be endeared by her.  

At the end of class, we were watching the second group perform the routine we’d just learned.  This was a common practice in Erin’s burlesque classes; watching and cheering each other on was a great way to build up our confidence and prepare for the end-of-course showcase (you can read more about that here). One woman really stood out, she had an intense look as she nailed each move, red hair flicking in time with the music accentuating the bumps and grinds.  At the same time, Yvette and I turned to each other and were like: “She’s good!”  

A couple of weeks later the red-head cornered me. I was in the bay window in the hall picking up my things after class when I turned to see the red-head towering over me.  She was a little too close, I’m not 100% sure but she seemed to sense that I might scuttle off so she put her hand on the wall above me.  I looked up and we locked eyes;

“Hello, I’m Diane.”

“Okayyy…”

“You’re very good, I’m not. You need to help me with my routine-“

This properly stumped me. I had been watching her dance and she was good.  I managed to splutter out. “What? You’re awesome! I’ve watched you and you’re in time with the music and always remember the routine. You’ve got great stage presence”

Diane seemed to be taken aback by my comment. “Thank you, but that’s Erin’s routine. I have no idea how to create my own.”

“Oh ok. I see. I’m not sure what I can do.  But I’m happy to help.”

I had just performed my first burlesque routine to the class. As part of the course, any returning students who have performed an act in a previous showcase night perform their last act to their new classmates.  I remember it inspired me on the first burlesque course I did so I was happy to volunteer.  I was not expecting to be cornered and enlisted.

Re-assured that I wasn’t about to run away Diane slowly moved her arm from the wall. I remembered to introduce myself and we made arrangements to meet at her house in a couple of weeks time.  We had a hilarious afternoon working on her routine, turned out she was a comedian (still is). This was my first time assisting and helping someone create their routine, I had no idea what I was doing.  I’d suggest something and we saw if it worked, we made a structure: fake fur stole removal, gloves, then dress. Nice and simple. Not gonna lie, it felt pretty good, helping someone else. Diane didn’t realise how talented she was and I’m proud to have encouraged her and helped her set out a format for her routine.  I mean she pretty much changed the whole thing from what we planned when it came to the performance, but that was ok by me because what she performed was way better.  Sometimes it’s just about having someone give you a helping hand to get you started.

A few months later Yvette, Diane and I were on the course together again. Erin decided to task us with a group number. The three of us had become backstage buddies at this point and I guess Erin had noticed.  We were excited to be working together and decided we were going to nail this routine hard.

My place became HQ, and a meeting was organised to make a plan.  I made pancakes.  On the run-up to the first meeting I was worried about how we were going to agree on a song, I didn’t need to. Yvette suggested Soul Bossa Nova by Quincy Jones and we all said yes.  Images of Austin Powers and bright 60’s colours lured us in. The kookie beats, the silly rifts, the tune, it all spoke to our fun-loving side. 

We went shopping together for costumes, having a native Aucklander in the group meant Yvette knew the best second-hand clothing shops.  We were taken to a warehouse on an industrial estate, the car park was massive and full.  Now I love second-hand shopping –  almost all of my favourite clothes come from charity shops.  It’s that feeling when someone says;

“I love that dress.  Where’s it from?”

“St Oswalds Charity shop.  It was just £5!”

So to say I was excited about going into this warehouse was an understatement. The automatic door swished open and we stepped into the cool air-conditioning, the smell of musty second-hand clothes hit first, then the colour.  Oh, the colour!

All the clothes were organised into colours. Yep not by sizing or style, colours.  This was perfect as we wanted to wear bright and colourful outfits to match the bright and colourful music we had chosen.  We split up, Diane went to the green section, Yvette went for purple and I went for the red section but couldn’t find anything I liked.  I found myself in the pink section and an amazing skirt that was way too big for me called to me. Just then I had a light bulb moment.  

“I can make a tear-away skirt”  

With zero sewing skills, at that time, I have to give myself a ten out of ten for vision and optimism.

I tackled the skirt with my usual gusto; how can I do as little sewing as possible? I figured using stick-on velcro would work a treat. After applying the velcro to the fabric, I wisely decided to wait on testing it out until the class dress rehearsal a couple of weeks before the show.  

“As with most things in life, we couldn’t always get together.”

We were almost ready. We had a song, costume and an abundance of choreography. I was very much enjoying creating the routine with friends, we were trying out all sorts and having so much fun while doing it.  We were throwing everything at the routine: umbrellas, dance moves, and floor work. Thankfully we decided against chairs.  This did lead to some very confusing rehearsals, where we’d often forget what was next. We didn’t care though, we were convinced our routine was awesome and we would remember it.  We just had to rehearse.

As with most things in life, we couldn’t always get together.  So there was a bit of a gap between our last rehearsal and when we had to present what we had so far to the class.  We decided we weren’t worried but our memories had other plans.  

We prepared to present, our classmates were sitting on the floor of the hall waiting in anticipation of what was to come. It felt a little like being back at a school assembly. Yvette handed our music over to Erin, we lined up and were ready to go.  It started well, we step hopped on to stage, twirling our umbrella’s in time with the music.  I felt the velcro of my skirt start to go, but with both hands on the umbrella I couldn’t do anything to fix it. A compromise had to be made, which unfortunately began the knock-on effect of ‘what’s next?!’ Yvette was trying to look over her shoulder to see what I was up to and what was the next move.  My mind blank I did the same back to Diane.  She suddenly started waving her arms about.  Oh yes, the arm bit!  But that doesn’t happen yet. Never mind!  Let’s go with it until we remember what actually comes next. There’s a cue in the music and in unison we shout “Floor!”

Missing our cue, we scramble to the floor and try to catch up with where we are meant to be in the routine.  We’re supposed to be taking off each other’s tops but give up cos it’s not working.  Diane is stuck in her dress, and Yvette begins a row boat motion, I’m sure we’re meant to be getting up so start to stand up and that’s when I lose it.  The laughter began. That ugly laugh where you can’t breathe and tears start to stream down your face.  There’s no sound coming out of my mouth because I’m laughing so hard and struggling to breathe.  I stop and look at Erin, she’s not impressed. It’s at that moment my skirt finally gives up the ghost.  The stick-on velcro slowly peeling away from my skirt, along with our hopes of impressing Erin with our burlesque troupe skills.

We wanted to do a good job.  I guess there’s a point in everyone’s burlesque journey that you gotta let go of being serious and have a bit of fun. But you also have to remember why you are there and that’s to entertain your audience. I think the reason I fell into the fit of giggles during the dress run was because a) it was hilarious and b) I knew it was going to be fine.  Diane, Yvette and I wanted to make our audience laugh, we had a clear vision even though we’d gone a little off-piste. We had achieved making ourselves laugh now we just had to work on making our audience laugh.  So far, our audience was just confused.

It was time to go back to the drawing board. We had a week to pick ourselves up and sort it out. There’s nothing like a bit of time pressure to bring a group together. Back to HQ and at our next rehearsal, we were like; “Right how are we going to fix this?”  The answer: Simplify it.  Like with the routine I helped Diane choreograph we set ourselves some clear and simple steps.

A very unsexy word relating to burlesque, simplify.  Students would come to me with big plans and big ideas.  My advice was always to keep it simple, when you overcomplicate or try to fit too much in it is very easy to overwhelm yourself and think this is not going to work or I’m not going to be able to do this.  Take the idea and simplify it. The great thing about burlesque is you can stand still and take three minutes to remove a glove if you want (that’s what Gypsy Rose Lee used to do).  There’s no real reason to overcomplicate burlesque. If you can’t keep up with what you’re doing, your audience can’t either.  They need little morsels so they can follow along.  This was one of the lessons I learnt from doing the group number with Yvette and Diane. 

We scrapped a lot of running around each other and decided to play with the obvious joke; the height difference.  Yvette and Di in my eyes are close to six feet tall (I actually have no idea how tall they are.  They are just taller than me by a lot, so six feet is my guess) and I’m four feet 11 inches.  We fitted in solo bits where we could, so we could add our personalities into the routine. 

Learning my lesson from the stick-on-velcro debacle I decided to hand sew it to the skirt ( I didn’t overlap it properly but you know what, at least it stayed in place. This became the piece of costume I would show to students of how not to make a tear-away skirt), my hands still haven’t recovered. Then we rehearsed and rehearsed until we had it nailed.  We were actually ready this time.

When we lined up at the side of the stage, I was way less nervous going on stage with friends than going on to do a solo routine.  It’s a great feeling being on stage with your friends.  It’s fun, exhilarating and joyful!  But the moment that Diane, Yvette and I jumped off stage after completing our routine is one that I treasure. We were so happy to have completed the routine, group hugs and a high-five circle, Boom! We’d nailed it!  I have to say it was the best feeling ever.  

We remain friends to this day. Diane and I moved back to the UK within a month of each other at the end of 2009 and regularly catch up and support each other in what we do. My husband, Alex, elbowed me in the face to catch the bouquet at Diane’s wedding, we married a year later. Yvette came over to the UK to visit a few years ago and we relived our routine in my living room. In 2019 Alex and I caught up with Yvette in New Zealand when we went over for our honeymoon. 

Because of this experience friendship and fun became the heart of Luscious Cabaret and my online classes. I’ve always thought fun is an underrated word.  It’s a class word, fun brings smiles, laughter, exhilaration and joy.  Burlesque is fun.  Yes, it is popular because of the sexy, sensual, storytelling and stripping sides of it but you should never forget or underestimate the fun.

This is what I wanted for my students when I ran Luscious Cabaret, and I achieved it.  I created an intermediate course where students could do a group number as well as a solo. Here are just a few of my favourite moments…

Burlesque Rocks, the online classes I run, are fun too, I know I have achieved when I can see each person on the screen smiling and exuding joy.  Three of my lovely students will be strutting their stuff in a group number on stage in London on Friday 11th October.  You can buy tickets here!

Or you can join me for a bit of fun every Thursday at 7pm via zoom!

First Class for Free!