Burlesque Rocks

This month, I have decided to write about mine and Mr D’s* trip to Hebden Bridge Burlesque Festival. I’ve been out and about to see a few things lately and thought, ‘why not write about it?’ I began toying with the idea of writing a review a while ago, but reviews used to put the fear of god in me. The fear of a bad review is strong within the performance industry. Constructive feedback is worthwhile, but the problem with many reviewers is that they tend to go for a dig instead of providing helpful insight into a show. So I’m going to attempt a review, but in “Emily” style.

As someone who began working in the tech side of theatre, I can get a bit pedantic over lighting, sound and stage management. Luckily for you, the first thing I’m going to review is not one show but a festival. The Hebden Bridge Burlesque Festival, to be exact. Nestled in the Yorkshire Moors, for four nights over the May Day bank holiday, the Festival takes over the Todmorden Hippodrome and consists of five evening shows:-

Thursday: Legend in the Making,
Friday: Laugh your Knickers off & The Late Night Quickie,
Saturday: The main Gala event and
Sunday: Cabaret against the machine.

There are numerous workshops with the burlesque stars during the day on Saturday and Sunday. The Burlesque Bazaar – a market for burlesque lovers all day Saturday, and Dolly Trolley’s Drag Bingo on Sunday afternoon. Mr D and I went for two nights, which included taking in the Friday night shows, Laugh Your Knickers off & The Late Night Quickie, and the Saturday gala.

We were running to the wire and arrived in Todmorden later than planned. You may be wondering what Todmorden has got to do with the Hebden Bridge Burlesque Festival? Well, the festival did begin in Hebden Bridge, but they soon outgrew the local theatre and moved the event to The Todmorden Hippodrome. A lovely mid-sized theatre, with a classic proscenium arch and a very friendly community-run vibe, perfect for the audience and performers alike.

The moment we stepped into the foyer of the theatre, we were welcomed by a vibrant and bubbly usher. All of the ushers dress the part for the festival, be it a sparkly outfit or a cute 50’s style dress, you know you are at a burlesque show the moment you walk in the door. We were late for the first show this year. Once again, we had miscalculated the time it takes to navigate the twists and turns in the villages leading to Todmorden. At least this time we didn’t meet a bus on a hairpin bend!

We could hear that the audience for the Laugh Your Knickers Off show was fully primed. The whoops and cheers for Oola Pearl’s act could be heard loud and clear from the foyer. As well-trained audience members, we waited until her act had finished before we entered the auditorium and took our seats. Even in the dark, we could see everyone was dressed to the nines. Fascinators, gowns, latex, brightly coloured capes. I was underdressed, in my pleather pants, long white top, boob earrings & sparkly choker. Next year, I will make more of an effort.

Burlesque really is an inclusive art form not just on stage but off stage too. The audience is a mix of performers and burlesque lovers. Almost all turn up with immaculate hair, nails and dressed to impress. You get chatting with people in the queue for the loo and make festival friends. There are two women we meet every year, we also bumped into them at Leeds Burlesque Festival a couple of years ago too! Shelly Lace and Mandazonian. – FYI, if you live in Leeds, this dynamic duo are now producing their own show – Boujee Esque. Check them out!

Back to the show at hand, I’m going to run through my highlights. There was a big lineup and to ensure I keep this blog to less than 3,000 words, I figured I’d pick my favourite bits from each show.

Laugh your knickers off – is the perfect Friday night show. After a stressful week, having a group of people make you laugh is a must-needed antidote. I cried laughing when Kiki Lovechild performed their Total Eclipse of the Heart act. Four unsuspecting members of the audience are brought up and given an action each. The audience and those onstage have no clue how these actions connect until the music kicks in. I should also add that Kiki gives non-verbal instructions, which adds to the hilarity of it all. One of the many reasons I love clowning is that it taps into our basic instinct of laughter and joy. In the second half of the show Kiki Lovechild returned and bought out a giant pot noodle to rival the classic burlesque martini glass. The silver outfit and headdress all made sense once the pot noodle was revealed. And who wouldn’t want to slowly and seductively gyrate a giant noodle?

Other highlights included Kheski Kobler’s AI-generated burlesque act. This was a lot of fun, the generic descriptions of how to remove a glove along with the robotic AI voice giving the performer cues to smile and look sexy were brilliant. Ezme Pump’s ass glove removal brought a smile to my face and made me wish I’d thought of it. Her energy on stage was infectious.

For Fifi La Roux’s fox act, I was impressed that she brought a wheelie bin all the way from Ireland for the show. Her throwback to Mrs Doyle from Father Ted brought back many memories of watching the show with my Irish housemate in Australia. The whole show was expertly held together by Harvey Rose. Not gonna lie, I was very jealous of their legs and style.

After a quick breather and a quick hello to our festival friends and a hug or two with former Luscious Cabaret students Juliet Peaches and Luna Lussuria. We were ushered back into our seats for the second show of the night.

Late Night Quickie Highlights

Billed as the more exotic show, it was a variety/circus act that blew my mind.

Nora and Rowan’s finale act was sensational and left you with the age-old thought: “Never underestimate a woman.” When Nora lifted her partner Rowan, the men in the audience’s jaws dropped. I loved watching the choreography of their act and swapping the gender norm expectation of the man lifting the woman within an acrobatic act.

The host Deeva D was excellent; the last time I had seen him perform was in the early stages of their career, and both their hosting skills and burlesque skills were on point. The only thing I wanted to see more of in their burlesque act was playing with their gloves like they were poi. He began too, and I got very excited and was gutted when he stopped. I would have loved to see more of that action. This is mainly because I love poi.

So aside from being late, we had an excellent first night at the Festival, but we were shattered and didn’t stay long for the after party. The great thing about burlesque and cabaret shows is that the cast and audience always stay on for a post-show drink/party. After the drive and the rush to get to the show, we were ready for bed. We left the party in full swing at around 11. Now that I’m over 40, I’m glad we left when we did, plus I had to get up early. I had decided to take part in a workshop, which was at the crack of dawn – 10 am. That’s early for a Saturday.

Charisma and Stage Presence with Kiki Lovechild

Now I am picky about my workshops. I love a clowning workshop and was thrilled to see that the fabulous Kiki Lovechild was offering one this year. As soon as it was announced, I signed up and only looked at the time it was due to take place once the email confirmation came through. I’m not very good in the morning, but I was excited for this.

The motto for the hour was ‘Don’t think, just do’. We did all sorts of silly games (one of the reasons I love a clowning workshop), but each game did have a point. So that by the end of the workshop, we were comfortable in showing off and walking onto a stage with confidence. I’m glad I dragged my ass out of bed, and I think my fellow workshoppers felt the same. There were big, beaming smiles all around.

I fully recommend signing up for at least one workshop. There are a plethora of performers at the festival. All with a different take on what is burlesque and their own personal style. I loved having guest teachers on my courses; it helped me as a teacher (I always took part) to gain additional insight, and it also meant my students were introduced to another style of teaching. Burlesque, for me, is about experimentation; working with what you have, trying out all of the styles and taking on stage the bits that you love and that work for you. Workshops are a great way to discover this and develop your style.

The Burlesque Bazaar

After brunch with Mr D, we headed to the Burlesque Bazaar. From crocheted nipple covers to fabulous vintage clothing, this is a quintessential burlesque market. I’m currently not performing, so thankfully I didn’t indulge too much; you could easily spend lots of money if you were working on a new act or two. I went away with a couple of pairs of earrings and a headscarf. You can find a list of the traders here – check them out

The Burlesque Gala

After a quick nap and dinner, it was back to the Hippodrome for the Gala. I was very excited for this one as it was hosted by Mercury– also known as Pi the Mime. I’ve known Pi since their early days on the cabaret and burlesque scene. They also hosted a weekly cabaret night for me back in 2018, let’s just say, it was a very interesting gig. As I expected, Mercury hosted beautifully, keeping the audience entranced when they sang and kept the audience primed and ready to go, whilst behind the curtain, large props were being set or cleared. It was also lovely to see Symoné up on stage, another member of that doomed weekly cabaret show. Her skills are way more suited to the big stage than the little stages of Luscious Cabaret. Fire, hoop and skates?! Is there anything this woman cannot do?

The winner of the Legend in the Making competition performed a poignant and awesome routine about masking. I think it is fair to say the future of burlesque is safe with young performers like Dawn Voz.

I absolutely adored Lily Snatchdragon’s act, which was dedicated to her mother. I would have loved to see more of the isis wing style cape. The material and colour of them was divine, plus I love a good swoosh of fabric. The signature ass shot of this act was awesome! Lily and Mark Anthony performed their award-winning “chains” act. The synchronicity between the couple added to the intensity, and you can see why it won best duo act at the Burlesque Hall of Fame in 2024.

I am constantly in awe of Cleopantha. Her newest act, which involved an LED lit costume, is inspired. My hat goes off to her, I have seen what goes into programming LED lights, and oh my god, she must have the patience of a saint. Innovative and beautiful, there is a reason that this woman is one of the top burlesque performers in the UK.

I think it’s fair to say I love aerial/acrobatic acts, they mesmerise me and take me on a journey of – How? Why? and Wow! So it is absolutely no surprise that I loved both of Jools’ acts. He went from playing the sexy cowboy to Beyoncé and for his second act he was dangling from a giant LED cube. Yes, a giant LED cube hanging from the ceiling – well, in this case, from the flies (the scaffolding type bars that the lighting/set are attached to – in tech terms ‘rigged’ to) Both acts were spectacular.

Everyone in the show was on top form, and I guess this is why it’s the Gala show. It was like Woooooooowww all the way through. It provided what was advertised as the best of the best burlesque. So much variety in the burlesque styles and a good bit of circus skills.

All the shows were immaculately stage managed, lit, and the sound was awesome. A big up to the crew. I rarely give any show top marks for all three! I once had to get up and tell a stage manager they needed to sweep the stage. Essentially, it was covered in glitter and way too dangerous for the next act to go on. That’s how seriously I take production and stage management.

Lady Wildflower does an incredible job bringing the shows and the festival together. She really has created a special festival. Inclusive is a word that gets batted around by big brands (especially at this time of year) with very little follow-through. I can safely say this is an inclusive and welcoming festival. If you have never been to a burlesque festival before, I highly recommend this one. Mr D and I will definitely be back next year!

My Top Tips

If you are planning a trip to Hebden Bridge Burlesque festival, I recommend the following:

*Mr D is my husband, he has his own burlesque name – Mr Delicious. (I did not name him)